Two nights ago we had a large, hairy, trash eating visitor. Around midnight the dogs would not settle down and I came to realize there was a bear below my bedroom window enjoying the all you can eat trash buffet set up by my eldest child and bonus child who live in our apartment. Sid managed to scare the visitor off and Ollie and I got back to sleep after groggily enjoying the show. Yesterday we purchased contractor bags and gloves to provide to the tenants and requested that they clean up the trash and get it into the garage where it would be out of the reach of fuzzy garbage munchers.
We all know kids always listen the first time you say something so they did as they were asked and everyone lived happily ever after.
Just kidding! Mamas, I hate to break it to you but I’m pretty sure children will NEVER listen the first time you ask. I’m at 20 years now and I really should just have my repeat phrases tattooed to my person so that I can stop saying the same things a zillion times a day.
Needless to say now that the bear had a score, he returned to the buffet and I found myself hosting a damned teddy bear picnic at 3am. That’s right, he brought a friend. Ollie and I watched on while they tore open the trash that had just been returned to the receptacle only hours before.
As much as I hate 3AM, the bears are sort of cute. I was trying to get a decent picture of the two of them but they sort of wandered out of the light with their treasures so it was hard to see them. Sid offered to lure them back over with a dance but I declined. Now that I’ve had caffeine I realize may be the biggest regret of my life but it was 3AM and my brain wasn’t operational. He managed to chase them off by going out and making a lot of noise with a big stick (it was PVC piping you naughty Nancys).
Time to go back to sleep, right? WRONG. Now I had to calm a sobbing four year old who was PISSED that his father dared to chase off his entertainment. He simply could not grasp why the bears had to return to their family and couldn’t just stick around and destroy our yard forever.
There has been a LOT of coffee today.
Eldest children/tenants have since cleaned up and relocated the trash to the garage as requested (following my rant about how I didn’t care to be the neighborhood bear welcome committee). Maybe tonight there will be more sleep involved…