perm mayo.

crop person with smear of face cream

I did it. I used the Veet hair remover cream and OF COURSE I have a tale to tell….

Excitement loomed within my body as I got ready to use my new product. Just 10 min plus application time and I would be free of the duties of shaving for a few days per the promise of the bottle. I read all the instructions carefully which went something like this:

  1. Apply with your hands or included spatula. I figure my hands are just spatulas with fingers so we went with that.

2. Test after 5 min, leave on up to 10 min.

3. Scrape away all your hair with this curved putty knife we glued to the bottle.

4. Not for use on face or nipples. GOT IT.

Easy. Let’s do this. So I undressed and started applying the thick cream with my hand spatulas. I threw in my armpits for fun, why not? Washed my hands and set a timer. Man, I’m gonna be sexy AF in 10 min. SHIT. I’m standing in my bathroom covered in mayo that smells like a perm from the waist down and there is no towel in the bathroom. OK. Think. Text husband: “Hi, I need help. I’m covered in Veet and have no towel. Please save me.” He didn’t even react y’all, he’s used to my insanity and just got me the towel.

So I tested at 5 min… nope. Let’s go for the full 10. Warm up the shower while I wait. At ten min I took my tiny, clear spatula and got to work. Um… its not really coming off? Oh, wait, yes it is. Wait, no its not. After abrading my skin for what felt like an eternity, I was left with red scratch marks from the edges of the spatula and patches of unremoved hair. Like a stripey, mangey dog. At least my face and nipples are safe.

There is no way I can wax my legs and armpits myself. I guess maybe its worth paying someone to do it? But it’s expensive! Anyone have a better at home method to share? My husband is begging you…

Published by awadleigh

Mother of 5, lover of food, goofy by trade.

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