initial reaction.

woman holding white flower bouquet

Do you react passionately and immediately or are you someone who can hold your reaction? Do you respond immediately or hold comment until you ask further questions and think about your answer? I’m the passionate, immediate responder… and I’m working on it.

No one in my life has ever described me as quiet, shy or soft spoken. For the most part, that’s not a bad thing I suppose. My volume and oversharing make it very clear to know where I stand on most things, I’m certainly not a mystery. I tend to be passionate and vocal about things that are important to me and for that I’m certainly not sorry. As I’ve grown older I have learned when it is worth avoiding a disagreement and when I need to vent as loudly as possible to my inner circle before I can have the logical and calm discussion that some things deserve.

Sometimes my filter gets caught off guard and completely forgets to exist. OK, a lot it forgets to exist. Today I was given some news that really deserved my sensitivity and I reacted too strongly, which I feel terrible about. I immediately recognized it and apologized but honestly, it would have pissed me off if someone I loved had responded that way to me.

There are many things about myself that need work, I can admit that without shame. If I ever tell you I’m no longer a work in progress I’m lying to you. I think we should all be a work in progress, like forever. Change and evolution is vital to not being a douchebag. You can go ahead and quote me on that one in future philosophy books.

For today, I’ll give myself the credit for realizing my mistake and apologizing sincerely for it. Part of the battle is admitting your fault and taking responsibility for it without excuse. This I can do. Learning to tone down my passion is a little harder, especially when it involves those I love more than life itself but I’ll get there… I hope.

What do you find yourself working on? Or what is your most recent self-improvement focus?

Published by awadleigh

Mother of 5, lover of food, goofy by trade.

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