I was going to call this “let it go” but then I would have had to belt out the song and honestly, my family gets enough of that nonsense. Last I posted two weeks ago, I wasn’t quite myself, I felt like I was drowning but I’m here to tell you its better.
The day I made that post I did a LOT of talking. To my husband, to my therapist, to my dogs… anyone that would listen. Turns out that’s exactly what I needed. I had been suppressing so much trash that it was eating me alive (starting with my brain) and I needed to let it out!
SHOUT. SHOUT. LET IT ALL OUT… Damnit, Amanda. FOCUS.
OK so basically after unloading my burdens that day I have felt better every day since. It started slowly, just “functioning” and now I’m back to actually being able to think about more than one thing at once (which is super helpful as a mother of 5, full time out of the home employee, side show faire crafter and being a human in general).
This brings me to updates I suppose. I’m getting more help around basic life/house sustaining tasks. I tightened boundaries for those who are not great at respecting them. All of this has lead to a happier me! Horray!
It feels really good to be back. It feels nice not to get annoyed and be able to laugh when my son interrupts my work to ask me if he can get a hamster (please! Just one TINESEY hamster?!) or to ask me why walls are hard.
In an effort not to overload my circuits again, I’m taking it easy with projects (though I did rage clean on Sunday). I’m going to do fun things and finish up a few commissions and then use the winter for my creativity.
I am, and will always be, a work in progress. It’s not so bad and really, I think I prefer it that way.